Miserable-er

What I had feared most happened today at 2.05pm. At that time I was still asleep. I woke up at 6.50pm just now and there was a message from Dunstan. He said he didn't book Damai because it was already too LATE and too expensive... I could not believe my eyes...I really thought that I was still asleep and dreaming. And then I realized that I wasn't.

Because of me, All my friends cannot go to Damai. BECAUSE OF ME...wow...Can you imagine what a girl like me could do to make all 15 people miss the chance of going to Damai?? Of all the things to mess up...WHY?!?! Why Damai??? I'd rather it be me not going to Joseph Cardijn's Camp or X'mas Caroling than having all my friends miss Damai and the reason they tell their parents is because of me.

I feel so SICK!!! Why is...well then...THANK GOD...I just stop blogging a while to take a call. It was from Kelvin. He asked me if I can borrow him my sleeping bag and asked if I wanted to go Damai. Then I said:"Didn't you see what Dunstan's message was?" He said:" Yes, but can go liao because Wendy's aunt help us to book the rooms." THANK YOU LORD!!! Wahoo!!! I feel like watching a movie but this is real....I guess you can say that anything is possible huh?

Even though they will be going to Damai, I still feel guilty for giving all of them alot of trouble. I wrote a letter to them this morning and I put some money in the envelope so that it might cut down their expenses or something...they didn't take and Wendy say:"DON'T do STUPID thing!"
Anyone got a better idea to help me say sorry to them ? Apart from writing them an apology letter?

Anyways , Thank you Lord for helping me by letting them go to Damai. again. Now they would not have to tell their parents whomever that they are not going to Damai.*sigh* Don't worry. That was a sigh of relief.

Miserable

I Really can't believe this is happening to me NOW!!! How can all of you suddenly say that you can't go Damai??? I'm sooo tired!!! Dunstan thought I'm booking but I thought he booked, All the girls can't go, from 7 ~ 8 to 4 in the end and now, my mum say she let me go because I told her a lot of girls were going and now only four so no need to go liao!!!

WHY WHY WHY WHY?!?!?!? Darn it...I'm so totally messed up!!! I haven't called to confirm the chalet with the reception, I gave up going to Joseph Cardijn's Camp and X'mas caroling and now my mum AND dad just got ALOT to say about me going to damai!!

And now, I don't even know why I'm even blogging since NO ONE ever reads them. I want and I feel like crying but I know it's just no use, even though I DID that day at school because I really couldn't stand it anymore...

No one knows what's happening to me. They think that I'm just thinking too much or too hard and now I don't know what am I supposed to do anymore...Help??? Anyone???